I am so exhaused. I am tired in more than one sene of the word; physically, emotionally, and mentally. So many things have happened this week its almost surreal. Physically I am tired because it is impossible to get any sleep in this room. I've been going to bed late because I have had a lot on my mind and then getting woken up around 6:45 or 7. Depending. Its not that I want to get up...Lets just say that I am really excited that in 4 weeks I will never have to call room 268 mine ever again. I have come to the conclusion that the only reason I really ever wanted to transfer was because of my living situations here. Thats okay though because from now on I can control it. Amen.

Yesterday was one of the scariest and most intense days I have had in a long time. Well, maybe
not yesterday but last night. Where do I even begin? Let me start of my saying that some guys are just scary. Really truly scary. I can't believe that I let myself fall for all of his sweet talking and whatever it was only to find out that I was just going to be used and thrown out like every other girl before me. Who was I to think that I am any different from anyone else? It's a vicious cycle, let me tell you.

I guess I've made some pretty stupid decisions. Breaking up with Ben for one. I had the sweetest guy there for me, and he's still there for me, and I did such a horrible thing. Ahh...And to think that he's still waiting on me to come around. It's a beautiful beautiful thing. That my friends...Is love. I am scared about getting back together, because who knows what the future brings. It's scary. Anything could happen. But at the same time I trut that everything will be okay in the end. It is really nice that I do have Julie an Sadie to talk to about all of this. Its especially nice that Julie is going through much of the same situation. I don't know what I would do without them, because most people here just wouldn't understand. Most people are too "good" to do ever live a little bit and explore something beyond their comfort zone. Well, I certainly did and learned a lot from it.

Anyways, I must get going and start getting ready for my day. I have so much to do today thanks to a long weekend of slacking off. It's okay though...I enjoyed almost every minute of it.