It is ironic that there are not even devices called pentacycles, because that is how I feel right now. Kind of non-existent. Kind of. And if there were pentacycles I am the wobbly fifth wheel...The one that needed to be thrown on or else it wouldn't be a pentacycle but the designer did not really have a use for it. I am trying to make sense of everything that has happened to me over the past year, this whole college experience. I have said over and over again that I can not see this as being "the best years of my life." And I have been trying. I really have.
This school is one of the toughest to be at because they endorse dating and relationships so much. When you are dating someone outside of the Grove City bubble things can be extremely challenging. I am craving relationships right now, with girlfirends that is. I feel so alone here. Living in the mole hole was a bad idea. All the girls from my hall last year are in MEP which would be the place to begin building relationships. Since I am not living there it makes things a bit more difficult.
I joined the racquetball club this week and there a bunch of girls there that maybe I can get to know. Hopefully. It is hard because I feel like despite any of the activites I get involved in, all the girls have their own groups of friends already. Sure they may say hello when they pass me on their way to class, but they are not about to go out of their way to invite me over for a movie or just to hang out.
Living here I just feel like an inconvience. I am the "back up plans". Maybe I am just being overly dramatic. I am just unsre how much more of watching the couple stuff go on I can take. I have only spend 4 weeks on this horrid campus! And two of those weekends I spent in the comfort of my own home.
And the schoolwork! Don't even get me started! I spend hours and hours doing work...partly because I have nothing better to do...yet I have nothing to show for it. I am not doing well in any of my classes really. At least not as well as I would like to be doing. Grove City has taken my academic career and screwed me over. Coming in as a freshman I could have been whatever I wanted, gotten in to almost any school that I wanted to and now....Now I can not even get into Geneseo! A state school! I regret coming here everyday...While there are moments that I enjoy it thinking maybe things will be okay, I don't think there is one day that I would ever say that I would do this over again. Never.
Alright. My pitty party needs to end. I will probably be drowning away my sorrows in a few episodes of Gilmore Girls. Thanking God that my life is not quite that complicated. Until next time...
September 19, 2008
September 12, 2008
Learning How To Swim
Holy smokes! I did not think that it had been that long since the last time I blogged! May 29th, 2008 and it is now September 17th, 2008. I guess I can be happy that it is still 2008. Reading that last post I can help but laugh at what I talked my expectations for the summer. Working at the nursing home, playing the Sims, and just hanging out around the house were among the things that I discussed. I am beginning to learn that have too many expectations can often lead to disappointment, not that my summer was disappointing. It is just that often times when you expect that something will turn out a certain way, something completely different and unexpected will happen. This is not always disappointing, you just have to go with the flow. But where do I begin now? So much to talk about and only half of a physics class left to type my life away.
Well the summer was pretty amazing, we can start there. I did not end up working at the nursing home, instead I returned to what was familiar to me, catering to the whims and needs to hungry customers. I did not even work there that much, only when they needed me to fill in. So is terms of money making, I believe I spent more than I made.
Much of the summer was spent hanging out with Benjamin and friends. :] Ashley Farner, or should I say Moran, and I hung out quite a bit and caught up on each others lives. Much like old times, when she was just a sophomore in college and I was still in high school. It is strange to think that now I am the sophomore and she is out in the real world getting married and doing things of that nature. O time, where have you gone?!
The summer came and went in a blink of an eye and before I knew it I was packing up my things and heading off to Grove City College, the giant swimming pool of my life. Tennis camp came and went, and when I say went I mean that ship sailed without me on it. It was disappointing considering all of the time and money that went into tennis this summer. I have been thinking about it, and maybe next year I will try again. Maybe this year there was a reason I didn't make it. I am not exactly sure of that reason yet, although I have an idea. I suppose I am just supposed to get involved in other things on campus. I must say that not having tennis certainly frees up a lot of time.
I recently got a job at The Gap at the outlets! My first day is this afternoon actually so I am pretty excited. I have also been working at the bowling alley quite a bit and doing ticket sales at the football games. I am going to try and get involved in a few different things going on around campus because I really need to get out and meet new people and such. I recently talked to my Physics lab T.A. about joining racquetball club so I am going to be adding that to my list of things to do. Hopefully I will meet some decent people through that. I am also continuing my jazz band experience at Grove City College. Which reminds me...I really need to order some new reeds.
Anyways, I am really just not in the mood to blog anymore and really not in a good mood at all actually. So I am going end it here. Hopefully I will find time to write another one sometime soon, but as always...No promises.
Well the summer was pretty amazing, we can start there. I did not end up working at the nursing home, instead I returned to what was familiar to me, catering to the whims and needs to hungry customers. I did not even work there that much, only when they needed me to fill in. So is terms of money making, I believe I spent more than I made.
Much of the summer was spent hanging out with Benjamin and friends. :] Ashley Farner, or should I say Moran, and I hung out quite a bit and caught up on each others lives. Much like old times, when she was just a sophomore in college and I was still in high school. It is strange to think that now I am the sophomore and she is out in the real world getting married and doing things of that nature. O time, where have you gone?!
The summer came and went in a blink of an eye and before I knew it I was packing up my things and heading off to Grove City College, the giant swimming pool of my life. Tennis camp came and went, and when I say went I mean that ship sailed without me on it. It was disappointing considering all of the time and money that went into tennis this summer. I have been thinking about it, and maybe next year I will try again. Maybe this year there was a reason I didn't make it. I am not exactly sure of that reason yet, although I have an idea. I suppose I am just supposed to get involved in other things on campus. I must say that not having tennis certainly frees up a lot of time.
I recently got a job at The Gap at the outlets! My first day is this afternoon actually so I am pretty excited. I have also been working at the bowling alley quite a bit and doing ticket sales at the football games. I am going to try and get involved in a few different things going on around campus because I really need to get out and meet new people and such. I recently talked to my Physics lab T.A. about joining racquetball club so I am going to be adding that to my list of things to do. Hopefully I will meet some decent people through that. I am also continuing my jazz band experience at Grove City College. Which reminds me...I really need to order some new reeds.
Anyways, I am really just not in the mood to blog anymore and really not in a good mood at all actually. So I am going end it here. Hopefully I will find time to write another one sometime soon, but as always...No promises.
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