April 16, 2009

Back Again!

Today, for the first time in almost a month I wrote in my journal. I used to write almost every day, or at least every other day. I made sure that I set aside the time, despite the amount of work I had to do. What happened to me? The past month I have struggled with that very question, because it is almost like I have looked into the mirror and I don't even know who that is starring back at me. That was not me. Well after a month of testing and trials, I think I am back. I am once again seeking out Christ's love for me and His grace with all of my heart. I lost focus, I lost sight of the straight and narrow. I am not going to be afraid to admit any of this because at some point it happens to every single one of us. We are all human and we all lose focus. These experiences are what have taught me humility, compassion, appreciation, and love. While they are hard, and coming out of them is even harder I would not trade them. It is these experiences that bring us ever closer to the Father.

The biggest problem that I think we have is not giving ourselves 100% to Christ. Is He your main focus in everything? All that you do, is it centered on Christ? It needs to be! Only He is strong enough to handle the temptations of this world, only He can comfort us in our time of need. This truth is so strong on my heart right now I want to stand up and sing about it. I want everyone to be at the place of clarity and understanding that I am at right now, because it is a beautiful, emotional, eye opening experience. Obviously not everyone will ever reach this point, but you can. If you want to, you really truly can. If you want to experience love that never disappoints, grace unlike anything else, and complete truth then turn and run as fast as you can to Jesus. He is waiting arms open wide. I sound like I am preaching the salvation message here. I guess I am in some ways, but really I feel like all the truths I discovered and posted about in my previous blogs, I feel like I am finally beginning to experience those. I have so much going on in my life right now, but I know that whatever happens with everything it is going to be okay. Despite some not so smart choices that I have made the past month, I have been forgiven. I am back, new and improved. It is all going to be more than okay, it is going to be awesome! Christ loves me, He is at the center of it all. So though it all, whatever happens I will remain strong, I will not be broken. God is good. God is always good.

1 comment:

SpokLocal1974 said...

So happy to see you're doing better. Your words are really inspiring. Your posts really just prove that life's a mystery, or one of those blizzard days on the 90 where we can only see so far up the road...Hey, what's a cake-eater (from last post)?