I have found that the only time I really write on here is when I am truly hating this place. Seriously...I could not wish for next year to come fast enough! I've decided to give this place one more try I think. At least one more semester when I am not confined to this messed up dorm room. I walk by other peoples rooms and they look like they actually have a good time. Not here...Our door is usually shut because one of us never stops studying. Our room is always pretty emotional because someone never stops thinking that everything is about her. One of us feels the need to pointedly put in ear plugs as an obvious sign that we are annoying her...Well here is my obvious sign.

I really can't wait to get out of here! I know I'll probably look back on this someday and think...I learned a lot that year. Yea, but learning something and enjoying yourself are two completely different things. I find it really unfair that many people get to enjoy themselves their freshmen year...College...It's so great, I would do it again! Thats what everyone says. Me...I would NEVER do this year again!

People ask me why I hate it here and one of the only things I can tell them is how much I hate my room. Hate is a strong word I know..But for this situation I don't even think it is strong enough. I feel like when I am here I have a mother who lives in the same room with me. O no its not just in the same house anymore...The same damn room! "What are you doing? What time does that start? When are you going to be back? I wouldn't do that if I was you. O I am just off to a very inspiring lecture." Just shut the hell up and leave me alone! I don't like you so don't talk to me...Hell, don't even look at me.

I feel so mean writing all of this up but it is all so true. I would like to see you try and live here. I think I would rather live with a stuck up blonde than in this room. Grove City College...They like to torture. Actually..Not true I must admit I totally brought this torture upon myself. Which is kind of ironic...I guess it just goes to show that you don't know who a person is until you live with them...

Getting Better...

So this place is getting better. I have found that the only time I am really miserable is when I am in my room. It is just an extremely annoying place to be let me tell you! Anyways, I think that next year might actually better and then I might be able to enjoy this place a little more. Right now I am just surrounded by some extreme people...There is nothing I can do to change that and I am learning a lot. When I look back, I don't think I would re-do this year for any amount of anything, but I think it will be a good learning experience. Coming to this school I guess I knew there would be some interesting...things.

So I have been trying to look beyond this stupid dorm and really enjoy everything else. I have found some pretty cool people. There are normal ones out there somewhere! Come next year I think my group of friends will change immensely, but that is just fine with me. Its actually way more than fine!

This week has been a really good week. Benjamin and I had an amazing talk and our relationship keeps getting stronger every day. It's crazy and it just blows my mind! I've been trying to keep up on my devotions and all that stuff as well. It's really hard here to get caught up in everything and just forget, but I have started making a real effort. My eyes were opened this week...For the first time I guess I realized that we in no way, shape, or form deserve God's blessings but He blesses us anyways! Can you believe it?! Even at my lowest of low, He blesses ME! Why?! How love can be that strong I just don't know, but it is amazing. So no matter how many chapters of the Bible I read, no matter how much I pray, or how many good deeds I do...That doesn't make me any better than anyone else! That is beautiful! I think a lot of people, especially here, compare themselves and their faith to other people...O well...

Anyways...Time to get out of this room! I need a shower...Good reason to leave I suppose. Peace out!

Life...

I offically hate this place. I went home this weekend and that was great...I love going home. Maybe I'll talk more about that when I am actually in a good mood. But then I come back here and its like a cloud descends upon me and I hate it. I have never once actually been happy to come back to this piece of crap of a school. So why am I even considering staying? The only reason I can really think of right now is that I like my computer...Haha. Pathetic I know...Not a good reason to stay.

I have so much work to do tonight and I am running on less than 3 hours of sleep...And I have been up since 7:30...Wonerful wonderful.

I don't know anymore. I don't know what it is about this place....I feel like I am surrounded by Christians who are trying to be perfect and one up each other all the time. Everyone does it! Even me...I know...Being a Christian is great. I don't know this sounds kinda wrong to say, but I am going to say it anyways cause it has been on my mind. Some people let their religion consume themselves and then I think they just become socially retarded. They don't know how to act normally in scoiety. There is nothing wrong with love Jesus and the whole sh'bang...But...I think when you do it to a point that you can't function normally in the world around you. That is a problem.

Part of being a Christian is reaching out to non-Christians...So honestly...Be normal. And people and their whole Calvinistic crap here! AH! Drives me insane! I need to get out of here...I am sick of being in this bubble surrounded by all the same people all of the time. For the most part if you go here you are either:
a. Type A Personality...Little Miss Perfect
b. Homeschooled and socially akward..
Granted there are acceptions...I do have some normal friends here. But not many...Anyways...I can't wait fow this semester to do over so I can leave and never look back!

Sorry if anyone was offended by this blog...Not like anyone actually gives a damn what I think anyways.

Ah!

So it is only the second week of school and I already have so much crap that I need to do. Honestly...It just keeps piling up and I can't really take much more of this. I truly think this semester is going to suck. The one good thing is that I think I have finally found my correct major! Teaching...Hopefully...I am not sure if I am actually going to stay at this exact college though. This semester I have just been miserable lately. I have good moments and bad moments but mostly bad. Being surrounded by type A personalities all the time can drive a person insane! More times than not I am wishing to be anywhere but this place!

Okay so clearly right now is just not one of those moments where I am loving this school up. Yea...Not at all. Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by...Well I don't know if I can say it here becase who knows who actually reads this. Maybe no one...And then I can just say what I actually think about everyone and everything this school is all about.

I really am not liking my Bib. Rev. HUMA class. I thought Dr. T would be amazing but really I think he is just arrogant. I feel like he is going to take the Bible way too literally and that he is a very closed minded person. When we talk about creation I might go insane if he takes it word for word literally. There is way too much evidence supporting the Big Bang I don't care what he says. All the science professors here even know that. I know people are going to disagree but thats cool...We agree to disagree then.

I just kind of hate college. I want my real life to begin...College the best years of my life? Hell no...Not here they won't be. Maybe I should transfer...I dreamt about it last night. Maybe it's a sign! I just need to get away!

Getting Bank in the Swing

So one full week here is almost complete and many things have already changed for me. Well not too many, but a few. First things first...I am not so sure I am going to go to medical school anymore. I've just been thinking and praying about it, and I don't think it's very conducive to having a family. So my alternative plan which I have already begun to pursue is teaching. Biology secondary education to be more precise. I am taking an education class this semester and so far I absolutely love it! The professor, Dr. Mackey, has a real passion for teaching and his passion seems to rub off on the students he teaches. Who knows, maybe thats just me and its a sign, but I don't know how anyone could walk out of that class not excited about teaching! Becca and I are doing a project together and we get to teach in front of the class...Needless to say I am excited about that stupid little project.

For the first time in my entire Grover career, I have no work to do! None! Sure I could start some papers and such that are due in about a month, but c'mon...No thank you. So I relax! This weekend will be amazing! Snowboarding baby! I am pretty much so excited I might pee my pants. Kidding..Totally kidding. But yes, Jenna and I are going to hit the slopes at HV and man..The powder, the wonderful powder. Okay enough about my little excursion.

What else is new with me? Let's see here...Did I mention that I pretty much love all of my classes this semester. I thought Bio would be boring but I am actually surprised at how much I am enjoying learning. It seems that I can't put my textbook down. Well not really. Anyways, I get to visit my home 2 weeks from tomorrow so that I can go to senior dinner dance with Benjamin! I can't even wait to see him! O the things love does to a person.

Today was actually not the greatest of days...I was a little cranky. Ehh, o well. Every girl has her moments thats for sure. Well I am going to clean this joint up a bit and then I am going to watch a movie or something! I love freedom!

Back to school...back to school...

O the fun has started again! I have mized emotions about it. The work has already begun to pile on, but the times with friends has been great so far. Funny story about friends...Becca and I decided that we needed to go to the bank today. So we pile on our layers and layers of clothing and set out across town to our final destination. About 3/4 of a mile later we arrive on the stoop on citizens bank only to find out that..It's Martin Luther King Day! Wonderful! Of course we weren't thinking about this because today was our first day of classes. Clearly Grove City just does not respect the holiday. Instead of giving us one measley extra they hurl a further insult and begin classes on such a day. Torture.

In all seriousness this day was not much fun. My Molec. Bio class is going to kick my butt. I also had lab today which turned out to be another lecture on an entire chapter of information that lasted 1.5 hours. It is my HUMA class that I am looking forward to the most. It can be hard to consistantly read my Bible here. That is one thing that I was not expecting at all. Coming here I figured..Christian college, so my spiritual life must fluorish. Well I was slightly misled. Sure there aren't quite as many worldy distractions as there would be say at a state college, but the workload here is not very conducive to encouraging your Christian walk. This would be why I am exited about Bib. Rev. I now have an entire class that will make time for me to focus on that. Lovely!

A List

Tonight I got the idea to make a list of some things I would like to accomplish in this lifetime. I need to have some goals...Life is quite the ride and no one comes out alive. So I might as well do something while I'm here::

1. Get married..This one seems obvious enough, but really I want to know that I have loved another human being to the full extent.

2. Have kids...My own kids, adopted, whatever. Just little people that will drive me absolutely insane but I can't help but love them anyways.

3. Skydiving...Anyone care to join me?

4. Install a 2-lane bowling alley in the basement of my dream home. Heck yes!

5. Live in a big city...Not forever. For a month or so on my own. I want to live like a movie. Going out partying with friends and just living life.

6. Play in an amazing jazz band...The GC jazz band would be sufficent.

7. Fill up an entire sketchbook.

8. Get out of this country and travel! Anywhere and everywhere!!

9. Run a marathon...Possibly a few, but at least one.

10. Own the entire collection of Grey's Anatomy seasons...I am well on my way to achieving this one.

11. Work on something that involves cancer...Research, treating patients, something.

12. Become a doctor...I am starting to realize that is doesn't matter what kind of doctor. MD or PhD. Physician, teacher, or great scientist....Something like that.

13. Go on a missions trip...I have never been on one before. What if I am supposed to be a missionary and just don't know it yet?

These are the big things. Sure there are many other little things that I would love to do, but if I could accomplish even 3/4 of the things on this list I would say that is a pretty full and complete life. Of course doing any of this would be a complete gift from the "big man upstairs". Life is short so lets enjoy it while we can.