Welcome Cloudy Skies

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,

And Mourners to and fro

Kept treading -- treading -- till it seemed

That Sense was breaking through --

And when they all were seated,

A Service, like a Drum --

Kept beating -- beating -- till I thought

My Mind was going numb --

And then I heard them lift a Box

And creak across my Soul

With those same Boots of Lead, again,

Then Space -- began to toll,

As all the Heavens were a Bell,

And Being, but an Ear,

And I, and Silence, some strange Race

Wrecked, solitary, here --

And then a Plank in Reason, broke,

And I dropped down, and down --

And hit a World, at every plunge,

And Finished knowing -- then –

-Emily Dickinson

This poem by Emily Dickinson gives me chills. We read it in one of my classes a few weeks ago and I haven’t been able to escape it. It plunges the reader into the world of the unknown, and its lack of resolution only adds to the uneasiness. It has little to do with the rest of what I want to talk about, but I couldn’t resist sharing…

____________________

Stressed out.

These are two little words with big implications. Together they sum up how many people are feeling right about now. Well, at least the people that I am surrounded by.

The season of corn mazes and haunted houses has come to a close and the bitter cold is blowing in. I personally do not mind – I love the snow, I grew up in artic conditions – But for others, watching the sun slowly disappear brings only sadness and depression.

I have watched more people scarily sink into their own thoughts in the past two months than I ever thought I would see. And once again the reality of pain and suffering wins out. I know there is good out there. I am not that depressing; however, it is hard to see beauty when the people I love are in pain.

I almost feel bad for saying that right now, I am in a good place. Over the past few weeks I have felt love lost and love gained. I have been lucky enough (and brave enough) to begin opening up to the people I know love me most.

I am also fortunate in the sense that senioritis has yet to kick in. I love my classes this semester. I am, however, looking forward to eventually studying English at a secular University. Grove City is a great place for beginnings and it has helped me build a solid foundation, but they often taint and sugar coat some great authors. I am tired of hearing everything from a Christian perspective. I want to learn about Shakespeare, Emerson, Thoreau, and Hawthorne from a different lens.

I can’t wait.