Lots of Random Paragraphs

I look out my window right now, and where there should be the endings of a pretty little sunset I see a giant black cloud heading right for us. Just standing at the window and watching it I can see lightening bolts coming down in the distance. I used to be deathly afraid of lightening and thunder storms. I think I have grown out of that now, I actually rather enjoy them. I also used to be scared of fireworks, and I must admit that I still am. There is just something about balls of fire flying up in the sky, shaking the earth, and then flying back down at you that just sends me running indoors. I don't know who ever decided that such a thing was 'safe' and enjoyable. I would personally be thrilled if fireworks were banned forever. Why can't the fourth of July be celebrated in some other, safer, quieter way? We could shoot colored cotton balls into the sky. It would be quieter and much safer. No one minds being hit with cotton. Balls of fire on the other hand, I have an issue with that. How did I get started on all of this? Oh yes, the thunderstorm. The wind is now blowing and the rain has just started to come down by the way.

Moving on. What have I been doing with myself lately? Well I spent the majority of my day today working to serve the bikers that poured into Olympia. This weekend is Harley Happenings in this little bitty town of ours, which means that hundreds and hundreds of motorcycles line Main St. all weekend long. There are bands that play, people everywhere, and of course lots and lots of beer. Our town is never busier than on this particular weekend. Oh! I am jumping too far ahead of myself. I need to fill you all in on the fun little adventure that I had on Thursday with my old friend Liz. We were besties in seventh grade and surprisingly we have been able to keep in touch ever since. Here is a testimony for you about the way's God works to bring people together. Way back in the day, seventh grade to be precise, I was just beginning to experience God's greatness and to learn of the sacrifice His Son made for me. I was a new Christian and coming out of the Catholic church I was still rather unsure about the whole thing, so I kept it to myself and did not really let my little light shine. If I am not mistaken, I believe that Liz was in the same boat I was and therefore we never talked about our faith with one another, even though we had very similar beliefs. Well in time, after a move to Gowanda and time in which we grew in our faiths, it was soon no secret that each of us was deeply in love with Jesus Christ. So now here we are, almost eight years later. We have been brought together as friends and it was so nice to have another sister in Christ to talk to about all that has been going on with our lives. Having someone to talk to, relate to, to give and get advice from, knowing that they have similar values and beliefs as you is one of the greatest gifts.

The hike we went on was unbelievable. It was near Chestnut Ridge Park, in these woods right across the street from in actually. I will post some pictures because it really was a beautiful little hike. We then stumbled upon this littler creek that we followed until we reached a waterfall. Inside of the waterfall is this little fire (that runs on gas I am sure), but it never goes out. Some people call it the eternal flame and others call is gaslight falls. Whatever it is called, I love it.

So here is a little something that I am getting absolutely sick and tired of. I am tired, beyond belief tired, of guys thinking that they have the right to treat girls the way that they do. In my opinion we should be treated like princesses. Guys, you do that and we'll treat you with respect. I don't mean to talk back about them all, because I know that good ones are out there, but after a friend came to me in tears today I just can not take any more. I do not understand who some of these guys think they are! And I have dealt with my fair share of these (I will not swear) guys, this year. Ah. And girls, what are you doing staying with them? They hurt you once, and the second they apologize and come running back you, you fling wide the doors to your heart and let them right back in. Respect yourselves a little more than that, I beg you. I have decided that I am done, completely done. I am just going to sit around and let Mr. Right find me, because clearly all the looking that I have been doing has not worked yet. I want a guy who loves me and who is willing to fight for me. Actually fight for me. There are tons of country singers out there who sing about how sad they are when the girl they love walks out on them, and they sing about fighting for her, about how much they truly loved her. Well, I have yet to find any guy who has loved or fought like that. So when I find him, I suppose I will have to keep him around. I have a feeling it is going to be a while, but I am in no hurry. So that is that. I think I am going to call it a night. I am in the middle of reading The Hobbit, and I am anxious to see what is going to happen next.

Life

I just got home from Buffalo where I attended my 98 year-old, great great aunts piano recital. Yes you heard me right, her piano recital. I only hope that when I am that old I can be as active as she is. She plays the piano, paints, and reads like its all going out of style. She is 98 years-old and you would think that she is in her 70's. She lives on her own, does not need a walker or a cane to get around, and she is sharp as a whistle. If anyone has ever lived life to the fullest, it is her. I can only hope that I have inherited those genes.

Anyways this piano recital was at this Universalist church in Buffalo, and it was comprised of 25 students ranging in age from 5 to 98. While my aunt was great (she played a wonderful Spanish piece) by far the best performer was this boy named Alexi. He was only 17 years old and he arranged his own piece which was a hodge-podge of Duke Ellington pieces. Here is the best part...be ready for this...he only has one good hand. One. His right arm cuts off right before the elbow, so all he has is a stub there, but that has not stopped him. If you sat on the other side of that piano you would never know that he only had one hand. He was truly an inspiration. The recital was beyond words. So here I sat at this Universalist church listening to a variety of music performed by these students, including the one Rascal Flatts song that stops me dead in my tracks. (No, I'm not kidding...So there's your shout out. You know what song I am talking about.) I was certainly amused.

So I thought that since I was home now that I would be blogging more frequently, but instead it has been quite the opposite. I have not written the past couple of days because I needed a little time to cool off before writing anything because there was a time that I was tempted to just speak my mind completely. Oh brother that would have been a bad life choice. So the past, two days I think, I have kept as busy as possible, and I have been relying on the Lord like it's my job (well it kind of is). Suddenly I have found that I literally have no one else. No one else can fill me up like He does, no one can fill the void that He so perfectly fits into. I have done more praying these last 48 hours than I have done in a long time. Whenever I need to talk to someone, I talk to Jesus, whenever I am sad, I tell Him about it, I pray for others, I beg Him to take all of me, completely, 100%. What in the world do people do without Jesus? I get down on life enough with Him, if He wasn't there, if I did not have Him to turn to, I would be so lost. Just the thought scares me. I stumbled upon these verses in the book of Acts yesterday morning and I can't help but share them. They really come from Psalm 16, but are reiterated here in Acts:

"I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to the the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence."
-Acts 2: 25-28

I have been filled with a joy lately that I have never felt before. Everything that I do and everything I find happiness in I attribute to the Lord. I have been finding joy in even the smallest of things. I am learning to love life, to love everything about it, everything that I have been so blessed with. One thing I have truly begun to appreciate is this small town that I live in. It reminds me of Stars Hollow except (in the words of Ashley Moran) her aunt owns the diner, not Luke Danes. For those of you not familliar with Stars Hollow, I would highly recommend that you catch up on your Gilmore Girls. I need to find me a Luke, a Luke who loves Jesus though.

I suppose I should get going soon, since it is 1:30 a.m. I hope you like the music that I put up on the blog! For your listening pleasure. I will probably change it often, depending on my mood. These two songs are ones that I have described my mood lately, well my mood tonight at least. I tried putting up the song Found by Josh Gracin, but I could not get a good copy of it. So if you want to hear a good song and you are feeling ambitious, check it out on youtube. I hope that ya'll are having a good night.

Sir Wellington and Mrs. Mississippi

Today, the day I have been dreading for months, the day that I thought would be depressing and a tough one to get through, turned out to be one of the greatest that I have had in a while. It began as a good day with tennis, a long drive out to Rochester, and cooking dinner with Di. What really ended the day with a bang was a nice long walk on the beach, ice cream cone in hand, and sunset in the background. It was like a movie. I was wearing a skirt and flip-flops, and the wind was lightly blowing. I love watching the people. Tonight I did not even cringe at the sight of cute couples holding hands watching as their kids ran ahead chasing seagulls. Instead of grow green with envy and jealousy, I watched and really appreciated them. I trust that my time will come soon enough. So Di and I took a nice long walk and talked about life. It was the most relaxing and peaceful time that I have experienced in a long time. And once again I stand in awe, completely amazed at how God works. The day that I thought for certain would be the toughest to get though ended up being a day that I can look back on and actually smile. Let me tell you, God is good.

Can I just say that the men who will be privileged enough to spend their lives with either Di or I, well they will be two very lucky guys. Because guys, we can cook. For dinner we cooked chicken wellington, asparagus, and cinnamon buns topped with fresh strawberries. We then decided to test out a dessert and chose Mississippi Mud Pie. It was the fanciest, most sophisticated meal that I have ever cooked. And we did it all by our lonesome. It all went off without a hitch, well except for the part when I put aluminum foil in the microwave. I don't know why I am telling you this, I suppose to add a little laughter to your life. I needed to soften a piece of chocolate from a candy bar because I was making chocolate curly-q shavings. Well I accidentally left the aluminum part on the wrapper. I thought it was just paper, but I was not really thinking. Luckily I only put it in for 5 seconds, but that 5 seconds was the longest of my life. We watched in horror as a mini-lightening storm occurred inside of the microwave, ending in the candy bar catching on fire. I quickly blew it out and life resumed as usual, so no need to be alarmed. But other than that everything turned out even better than I would have expected.

So pretty much life has been great since school has ended. The saying is true, home is where the heart is. I am getting excited for the summer to begin and to spend it in the Adirondacks! I can't wait to see how God is going to use me there and what He is going to teach me. I feel like God has taught me so much in the past few months, how could I possibly deserve to be blessed with anything more? But the good news is that God keeps on giving and giving, He never grows tired of it. He never stops loving us or stops teaching us. I just really love Jesus a lot. So this summer is going to be a time of preparation and hopefully maturation. I hope to come back to school refreshed, ready to tackle my role as an RA, as a student, and as a friend. I challenge you to do the same. Well it is time for this girl to settle in for the night. Di and I plan on falling asleep to the sweet sounds of Rory and Lorelai Gilmore.

What Is Right

It has been almost one week since arriving back on Flavia Circle. Home sweet home. For the first time ever I did not go home a single extra time last semester. Which is surprising since last semester was by far the worst semester and the hardest of my college career. I have never, in all my life, had to deal with so much. The last few months tried and tested every almost every aspect of my life, and for all I know the test is still in progress. Home has been therapeutic though. Getting away from campus and back to what is familiar is exactly what I needed. I must admit that I have not been doing much of anything. I have watched countless episodes of Gilmore Girls and a number of random movies. I have Pride & Prejudice playing in the background right now to be honest. I have made it a point to stay active and start getting into summer shape though. Running has been my weapon of choice and I am currently 5 days strong.

I have received some information about camp this summer and I am a bit more skeptical than I had previously been. It seems that they walk a straighter line than I had originally assumed. No wearing Abercrombie, mandatory daily chapel (although I really can't complain about that), and a dress code for Sunday mornings. If I am planning on ever wearing a skirt it has to come mid-calf. Where am I going to find a skirt that falls mid-calf? I don't think I will. Hopefully these things will not get in the way too much though. I have heard so many good things about this camp that I am sure the good will far outweigh the bad. Which reminds me, I was thinking yesterday about how often we focus on the negative. Think about it! All the time! I know I do at least, but I can not imagine that I am the only one. It is so much easier to think about the bad rather than the good. So instead of focusing on what has gone wrong, from now on I am going to try and focus more of my attention on what has gone right. I think that is a much better outlook on life. Alright I do have much more that I want to write but I am starting to fall asleep. Maybe tomorrow I will make more time.

A Day to Honor

I sit here on a Sunday afternoon, astounded by the ways that God is working in my life. He speaks to my heart again and again, and each time He provides confirmation that it is Him and not just me making things up on my own. God is still speaking to His people today and it is a beautiful thing. I have been a complete and utter wreck that past couple of weeks but at the same time I have been at peace. At peace with what God is doing, knowing that He is working on my heart. Do you ever have those times where it just seems like one thing after another? I am not kidding when I say that this semester has been exactly like that. Every time I think things possibly could not get any worse, they do. Instead of always looking at it negatively I am trying to take all of these lessons and experiences and run with them. If I have to go through this, I am going to learn from it. If I have learned anything, it has been about commitment and relationships. Not with just your typical guy-girl relationship (although that has been thrown in there) but also about my relationship with Christ. I am committed to Him like I have never been committed to anything before. Despite everything and anything, I cling to him for dear life. I want to spend my time in complete worship to Him. I feel like a broken record, all of my posts have been about just this. I just can't say it enough!

I really do have a real message here that I want to write about. It has been something that God has placed on my heart and so now I am actually acting on it. As I have said time and time again this semester has been insane and I am literally at the end of my rope. Needless to say, I am tired. I came back to my room after my Organic final last night and my brain was literally shut down. I did not know what to do when I got back to my room. I knew I was not going to do any more studying, but even watching a movie or playing bubble spinner was too much to handle. Anyways, the past few weeks I have just been so tired of school, of emotions running haywire, relationships, you name it. Physically and emotionally, I am drained. So I got to thinking about how I can combat such feelings. Let's face it, even when I take the time on Friday and Saturday nights to relax, I always feel guilty because I have thoughts of all the work that needs to be done swimming in my head. I then realized that my rest and relaxation need to come from the Lord, but how? And then it hit me...Sunday! We have been given the Sabbath to stop worrying about all the work that needs to be done and to rest in the Lord. Only He can truly fill us and refresh us.

So I started talking to some of my friends that take Sunday's off. A day that is usually filled with studying for the week ahead, they spend resting. The idea just sounded so appealing to me! A day that I would not have to feel guilty for, to take all of the time I need to slow down and glory in the Lord. As a result I have been wrestling with this thought for a few weeks. Do I give up my Sunday's? I do my devotions every day, is that not enough? Thinking about all the extra work I would have to do on Friday's and Saturday's to make up for it made this idea seem unreasonable and unappealing. But of course God kept knocking on my heart until I finally heard Him. This morning I got confirmation that this truly was something He has placed upon my heart, and if I listen to Him I am going to be blessed beyond belief.

I debated about whether or not I should go to church this morning because I work up later than usual and I would have to go alone this week. I finally made up my mind to go, and it was a good thing I did. Because wouldn't you know that the message this very morning concerned rest and honoring the Sabbath. I almost fell over in my chair because it was the very message I had been waiting to hear. Not only did the message speak directly to me this morning, going to church alone ended up being a blessing in and of itself. I was sitting alone when this couple came and sat next to me. I started talking to them, telling them about my plans for the summer and they told me a little about themselves. The girl that I met, pretty sure her name was Erin, asked me after church if she could pray for me. So we sat there for ten minutes after the service praying together. Even though we just met she was such an encouragement!

Back to my thoughts concerning the Sabbath day. We have been commanded to obey the Sabbath and there is no doubt that we are blessed when we honor the Lord's day. Taking the time to rest is not a suggestion but a commandment (Exodus 20:8)! In this busy world it is not easy to take time off. It may sound like a bit of an oxymoron but you have to work in order to find rest. It's not just going to come to you, you must consciously make the decision to give a day up to the Lord.

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not going as you please or speaking idle words,
then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride of the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
Isaiah 58: 13-14

So from now on, that is going to be my aim. I have a final tomorrow night at 7:00 but I am not going to begin studying until tomorrow morning. I think that 12 hours should be more than enough time, but it is still a bit daunting not to be studying today. I don't know what else this implies, it is probably different for each individual. Should I no longer go out on Sunday's? What about going out to breakfast? Because then I am causing other people to work on the Sabbath on account of me. This is something I am going to be meditating on and bringing before the Lord, asking Him to personally convict me. I am confident that by turning to Him, He is going to teach me how to properly worship Him on the Sabbath.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-29

Something to Get Excited About

I just spewed forth a fountain of Biological knowledge and it felt so good! I can't say that I have ever felt so good walking out of a final before. I was not completely confident in all of my answers for the multiple choice, but the three essay questions just got owned. It was just like "here Doc let me pour out my knowledge upon you." Bam. Bam. Bam. God is good! Without Him there is no way that I would be getting through this week the way that I am. Unfortunately I have succumbed to the power of Dr. Dent and her Genetics examinations. There is little to no hope for that class, so instead of wasting time studying for a 30 I have decided to focus on Organic which I can experience success. Tomorrow night is going to be bliss. Last night of partying it up at Trish's house with the seniors and racquetball crew. It will be sad, but guaranteed to be an unforgetable night.

How I am getting any studying done this week is beyond me. I have been living in Becca and Gretchen's room with the estrogen levels at an all time high. Everyone in that room has shed tears almost every single day. It is a dramatic room in which someone always has some sort of dilemma. It's a wonder that any work ever gets done, really. But I love it. The experiences and the many laughs and talks that I have had in that room have really made college complete. That is what it is all about. While grades are important, I think that developing friendships and relationships are greater by far.

I received some good news this week that I got a job working at Camp-of-the-Woods in the Adirondacks this summer! I don't leave until June 20th which is good because that means I get an entire month off from school before starting to work. I don't think this job is going to be much like work though. I am going to be a part of their recreation staff, meaning I get to plan activities and sports for the kids that come there. I am not going to be your typical counselor because this is more of a family camp. So I am just going to be living with another staff member, spending my days playing sports with kids. I could not have asked for a better job! There is no doubt in my mind that God was at work here. I had no idea what I was going to be doing this summer until I found out about this camp online. The next day I walked into the Student Union and there was guy there with a table set up trying to recruit college kids to work there for the summer. I talked to him, he turned out to be from Buffalo, turned in my application and now I have a job. I have never been so sure that right now I am in the right place, where God is calling me to be.

There are so many times when things are uncertain but I am learning that if I cling to God, He will not abandon me. He is going to make sure that I get where I am supposed to be going even if he literally has to drag me there. I think we all forget that too often. I mean every day I have moments that I wonder if I am really in the right place. You just need to be confident that you are. Trust in the Lord, because as long as you want to serve Him, as long as your heart is in the right place, He is going to be faithful. He will never disappoint you. It can be a really scary thing to give all that you have over to God. It is in our nature to want to do everything on our own. I know that right now I am struggling with discerning God's will over my own. Not so much that I want to follow my own sinful nature (I do, all the time, don't get me wrong.), but that I have trouble trusting God. How do I know for sure when something is God's will or if I am just following my own desires? One thing that I have come to understand over the years is that when God is trying to tell you something, He is not going to be subtle. Maybe at first, but usually there are ways He acts which make it unmistakably clear that this is what you should be doing. Me working at Camp-of-the-Woods for instance. Last night while I was studying Becca played the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns and told me that this song describes some of what I am struggling with right now. I knew all of the words to the song but I never really listened to them until last night:

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I love this song, of how it tells of the struggles we go through and the doubts that we have but we must always remember that Jesus trumps over any of that. We need to be confident that He is leading us in the right direction. With Him we are going to get where we need to be, even if it seems like we are aimlessly wandering sometimes. That gives me a lot of hope for the future and for what lies ahead. I don't know what is going to happen or what is in store, but I know that it is going to be extravagant. God has something planned for me, for all of us, something that we probably would never be able to dream up on our own. This makes me pretty excited. Excited not only for the future but for how God is using me and preparing me right here and now. When it comes down to it, God is someone to get pretty excited about.

"The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him."
-Exodus 15:2

Great Expectations

As I was reading through the Gospel of John this evening I noticed a reoccurring theme in which Jesus tells his disciples,

"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." (John 16:24)

I read more chapters than usual today since I had some free time, so as I was reading and searching for my Wonderful Thing for the day I noticed that from chapters 13-16, Jesus really emphasizes that if we ask for anything in His name it will be given to us. I feel like I encountered this same verse at least four different times throughout those chapters. Then finally, after reading John 16:24, it hit me that maybe this is important. Jesus was really trying to drive home a point to His disciples here. So now here I sit, chewing on these words and trying to decide where Jesus was going with this. So anything we ask for in the name of Christ is going to be given to us? If I pray right now:

Lord, I really want to get an A on all of my finals this semester but I don't feel like studying for them. Any chance you could do that for me? I would really appreciate it.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray,
Amen.

Does this mean I am going to get A's on all of my finals now? Obviously we know that we don't always get everything that we ask for when we pray for it. Although I am sure that if God wanted me to get A's on all of my finals He could do it. Wouldn't that be nice? So what in the world was Jesus talking about when he said these words?

Here is what I have seemed to uncover. When praying that silly prayer above, notice that I threw in the whole "…but I don't feel like studying for them" line. Is that what Christ has called me to do? Be lazy and not work to the best of my ability? I don't think so. It seems absurd to come before Christ and ask Him to perform such a miracle for us if we are not even going to be glorifying Him in the process. If we truly are dwelling in Christ, making His desires our desires, then what we ask for is going to be in line with what He wants to give us anyways. We are not always going to get the things that we want, but I think it's funny when we look back on our past struggles to see just how God got us through these things. We may have asked Him for one thing, only to receive something totally different. What is that all about? Well, 10 times out of 10 that something different that we get from God is better than anything we could have even thought to ask for. God has a funny way of doing that. We ask for one thing, God gives us something different, we are frustrated, and then we take a step back and just look at what God has given us and we can't help but stand in awe at how awesome He is! He knows better than we do what we want and what will bring our hearts contentment.

So really we may not always get exactly what we want but it is always what we need. It is always better that what we could have asked for. Looking back on this past year, it has been nothing like I would have expected. I came in asking and praying very different prayers than walking in. The best part is, that while this year has been tough, I think I have received greater gifts by far than what I could have thought to ask for. Sophomore year really is the toughest, no doubt about it. I have come so far, learned so much about myself and others, and I have learned even more about the Lord. He has placed people in my life this year that I will forever be grateful for. Just thinking about it now, I never in a million years would have predicted my life to be where it is right now. It almost brings me to tears because God is so faithful!

I came in Sophomore year with all of these expectations, many of which have been completely shattered. Expect the unexpected, because God is more that capable. Honestly, coming into this year I was not a fan of Grove City College, but now there is no other college that I would rather be at. I came in having a lot of acquaintances and very few close friends, my high school boyfriend, and a relationship with God that was not much a relationship at all. I am now leaving the year with the exact opposite of what I came in with. I would argue that I am friends with pretty much the greatest people on campus, and everyone else is missing out. The best part is that I have friends in a bunch of different groups, all of which are very different from one another. That is how I like to roll. Hands down though I would not have made it through this year, especially not this semester, had it not been for Becca. If that relationship right there is not a testimony to God knowing what He is doing then I don't know what is. Freshman roommates, not by choice, and now almost inseparable. God is good. And while I no longer exactly have a boyfriend, I have (and still am) learned a lot about myself in terms of relationships and commitments. Despite the fact that I am walking out of sophomore year "single" (in some weird sense of the word), I am walking out with one amazing best friend. Together we have come a long way this year. And once again God deserves all of the credit, because this is another relationship I never would have dreamed to ask for. It all seems to good to be true. If not for him I would not be where I am right now. I am starting to get a little too sappy so I am going to leave it at that. All I know is that whatever God has in store for the future, I will forever be thankful for what He has done these past 7-8 months. And the best thing that I am walking away with at the end of this year is a relationship with Jesus Christ that is stronger than it has ever been. While I mess up daily and I am in no way deserving of His love, He has my heart. My eyes are fixed and centered upon Him. This is by far the best gift of all. This makes me hopeful for the future. I feel like after this year, all that I have been through, and all that I have learned I am ready for just about anything. I am ready to take hold what God has planned for me and run with it! I was not planning on reflecting upon all of this quite yet, but I just sat down, began to type, and this is what came out. I know it is a little long, so if you actually took the time to read it all I give you credit. All I can say now is be excited! Christ is ready and waiting to bless your socks off, all you have to do is ask Him.

The Great Debate

I am taking a few minutes break here because I need to do something other than study for a few moments. I just finished an Organic Chemistry exam, but now I only have 4.5 hours to thoroughly study for my Genetics lab final. Who in their right mind gives a 3 hour lab final that is exactly like all of the other exams? Not to mention we have another real exam on Monday and the final next Saturday. I don't really know who this lady thinks she is. There is nothing that I can do about it though. I really just need to keep trying my hardest and pray that I pass this class. Dang. I just got hit with some tiredness. I say its time for a little tea.

This weekend is going to be quite an exciting one because my dad and possibly aunt and grandmother are coming out to spend the day with me on Saturday! I have a lot of work that I need to be doing, and a Genetics test to study for, but at the same time I am very excited that I will get to see them. They are coming out mainly because I have a jazz band concert tomorrow afternoon. Concert starts at 1:05pm, be there if you can. I am playing 2 solos for this one! Although they are not going to be very good because a.) I still need to break in 2 new reeds by tomorrow afternoon and b.) I just found out that I was playing them on Monday. So I have had less than a week to pull them together.


I got some pictures from the RA scavenger hunt! The one with the 4 college students (2 girls, 2 guys) that is our amazing staff for next year. Moving on to more serious matters, I have been getting into a recent debate with a good friend about Christian Universalism, the idea that eventually everyone is going to heaven. Until recently I did not know or care much about it, but now I am utterly intrigued. I am not going to get into it here, but I would suggest looking into it. The few people that I have mentioned it to around here immediately wrinkled their noses and proclaimed how dangerous it would be to hold such a view. They did not even want to listen to what I have heard or read about it. As far as most Grovers are concerned, John Calvin has all the answers. I don't think I will ever be able to accept Universalism as truth, but I have gained a bit of respect for it. I don't really see why it can't be considered a main branch of theology, right on up there with Calvinism and Armenian belief. That might be a dangerous thing to say on here, but I can take it.

So I have recently been thinking about people and why they hold the views that they do. People are stubborn that's for sure. Most people are not up for listening to what others have to say and really thinking through their beliefs and viewpoints. Where then do our initial beliefs come from? Mainly I think it has to do with how we grew up. If you grew up in a contemporary church that preached Armenian theology, then that is what you are going to have faith in, it is what you feel most comfortable defending. The same is true if you grew up Reformed, Catholic, or Universalist. I strongly believe that once those beliefs are ingrained in you, you have a hard time looking at anything else without bias. So how then do we get any answers? How do we know truth? My answer is that we don't. God is the only one who really knows, and I think that we are all going to have a bit of a laugh when we get to heaven. Many of the different theological views behind Christianity probably all have different pieces of the puzzle right, maybe some more than others. To say that Calvinists, Armenians, or whoever else has all the answers would be, in my opinion, arrogant and probably wrong. I think it is extremely important to study as much about theology as you can. I have recently developed a love for it because it has encouraged me to dive into the Word and to seek the Lord for proper wisdom and guidance. I may never have all the answers, but it is going out and seeking Him that is important. That is all for now! I am getting sleepier and sleepier as I write this so its time to take a caffeine break. Enjoy the weekend ahead!