An Unexpected Realization

I went to New York City for one weekend and there I met Jesus. I didn't meet him in the lights and overwhelming extravagance of the city, but in a small gathering of people worshiping together in a small theater in Harlem.

For the first time in months, years even, I felt the presence of God with every fiber of my being.

Everything that I have been reading about, praying over, searching for, it has all suddenly been affirmed. I no longer just want to talk about these ideas, but I want to live them.

I am willing to talk to anyone who will listen to m

e for 15 minutes about this church and the experience I had there. My poor roommate and residence life staff, some of them have already witnessed my excitement.

This church completely took any expectations you may have previously had about church and shattered them. This wasn't a church but a community. It was community infested with people of every size, color, shape, style, and theology imaginable yet they all had two things in common.

They all recognize their brokenness.

They all see their deep need for Jesus.

Christianity to them is not a religion of rules that bind you to doctrinal theology, but a relationship. It is about a relationship with Jesus and relationships with one another.

When did church become a static institution instead of a dynamic community?

I sat in church on Sunday and could not help but think that this must have been what the early church was like. The congregation was engaged and interacting throughout the entire service. Not just when told they could now greet one another or when they were permitted to offer up prayer requests, but from the call to worship through communion and during the message everyone was engaged.

I want to live as a light on this campus and everywhere that I go. The question that I have now is what does that look like?

I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can to make Jesus shine in my life all of the time. Putting on that outward smile and pretending to be on fire for him when I go out only leads to burnout and disappointment. That is not what I am trying to achieve.

All that I really want to do is worship and serve him with everything that I have in me. I want to praise him from the time that I wake up in the morning until I am ready for bed at night. If serving and worshiping Jesus was my every focus and aim, then I don't doubt everything else will fall into place.

Through him I am going to learn how to love, how to listen, and how to serve. Because of him my vision of community and living life with passion will catch on. I will begin to see him in even the smallest things. If my life is consumed by him, he will be able to show me truth in all of creation, not just what the church has deemed "Christian."

I have been jumping out of my skin with excitement all day. I feel like I'm in middle school all over again just coming back from a youth retreat, but actually all I did was spend a couple of hours in Harlem.

So now what? There are a couple of questions that I have been asking myself and wrestling with since being back at school.

1. Where do I go from here? Do I transfer schools and become a part of this community that gets it or do I stay here and try to make this vision come alive on this campus?

2. How do I act on these feelings and actually live them out right now?

Both of these are questions that I am seeking guidance in trying to answer and diligently praying through them.

What I have come up with for the second question is just to love on people. This campus is filled with broken people, more broken I think than many people living in the city. It is infested with this don't talk about it, go at it alone, your best is never good enough mentality. There are people that think they have it all figured out yet they have no idea who Jesus really is. These are the students that I want to love. I would love to break down their walls and barriers and just get into the heart of who they are.

There have been a number of people working on me for a few months now to get me to this place. They have shared their dreams and ideas, and my life will never be the same because of them.

I feel like I am finally getting it. I am finally at the place where I want to see this vision come to fruition and I want to see it grow. I don't have some big master plan to change the world, but I do have Jesus and I have myself. I have my time and the ability to invest and love on people one at a time. I like to think that we can take this world by storm working together one person at a time.