February 11, 2010

"Whatever you are, be a good one."

The desire to write often comes at the most inopportune times. Ideally I would be reading or clearing the mound of clothing off of my bed – I couldn’t decide what to wear this morning. Instead I am sitting here, on this corner of my bed that is, for the most part, cleared off, and I am typing away. When the thoughts are flowing, you can’t ignore them. Especially when it has been so long since this passion to write has been so alive.

I attended a dessert meeting this evening for students interested in becoming an RA. Even though I am already an RA, I had to attend since I am required to go through the application process for next year. Our director of Residence Life, who is one of the greatest people I know, talked to us about one of her passions, studying the founding fathers. She presented us with a quote by Abraham Lincoln – one that I know is going to stick with me for a long time:

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”


Immediately, two questions came to mind – Who am I? And whatever I am, am I doing that well?

Jamie challenged us with these questions, and then put a spin on it. Instead of the word good, she put ‘faithful’ in its place:


“Whatever you are, be a faithful one.”


In the dictionary, faithful is defined as – steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant. It does not mean successful, important, or prosperous, but devoted and steady.


Who am I? That first question is one I have passionately been seeking an answer to for the past eight months. I never gave much thought to the question before last summer, but now it is one that lives with me every day. So who am I? What I know so far is this:


I am a daughter of the King, a woman of faith, a woman on her knees

I am a daughter to my parents

I am a sister

I am a friend

I am a student

I am an RA

I am an aspiring writer


That is all that I have so far, but I think it is a good start. Also, just know that I really only listed the practical ones. I left off many of the personality and character traits. (Oh, and I am also a sinner. But that is not something I am trying to do well or be faithful in doing.) My focus here was on who I am in the eyes of God, who He has created me to be.


Now for the second question, am I doing all of these things well? Am I being faithful? Asking myself that question opened my eyes. Suddenly it is not about being successful, but about being faithful. I should be who I was created to be faithfully, pouring all of my heart and soul into it. I may not be “successful” at any of these things, but that doesn’t matter. It is when I do all things faithfully and to the best of my ability, that I am truly me.


I hate to cut this short, but I really want to post tonight and I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open. If I have time tomorrow I will elaborate and hopefully hit this idea home a bit more. Goodnight friends.

February 6, 2010

Transparencies

Finding the time these days to write strictly for my own enjoyment and reflection is a difficult task. With 15 credits, RA duties, Collegian writing, lifeguarding certification classes starting, racquetball, and who knows what else, I have my overwhelming moments. I have decided to write again because I have no choice, especially when I have particularly difficult thoughts and decisions being wrestled with. Despite the craziness around me, taking the time to write and reflect is as natural and necessary to me as breathing. Many may not understand how writing can fill such a void, but we all have something that ultimately keeps us alive.


It’s different for everyone, coming in a variety of forms. Some find life outdoors, in photography, in music, in helping others, in art, the list can go on. Whatever it is, everyone has a passion. And these passions are our worship, at least for me. I worship best, am moved most, feel peace and comfort most when I have a pen in hand or keyboard beneath my fingers.


I am not telling you to worship your passions or to become dependent upon them alone, but to make sure that you are using them as instruments of worship to the one true God. He is the one who places these passions and desires on our hearts in the first place, so it is only natural to use them for His glory.


Lately when I write I can’t help but bring Him into it, even in articles that I write for the school paper. Lucky for me I am going to a Christian school. That is sunny and great and all, but I have no desire to make a living by shoving my Christian ideologies, meant for fellow believers, down the throat of the world. I would probably get fired by the New York Times if I ever submitted them one of my article from The Collegian (school paper), and the reverse is also true. So what does that mean? Have we as Christians lost the ability to relate with the world around us?


I write these articles for the school paper conforming to their conservative Christian worldview, ultimately disregarding what the rest of the world would see or say if they read them. Long term I have no intentions of writing for any type of independent Christian organization or settling down in the world of “Christendom.” I think it is okay right now, because I am not yet strong enough to face the world on my own. This school for me is a place to grow so that I can go out on my own, not a place or culture to settle into. I wish that really was the call and cry of Grove City College. When we look below the surface, what is really going on here? Few students actually take what they have learned and the ways that they have grown in their faith to actually impact the world. Instead they take it and “impact” the already Christian community. No offense, but they don’t need it as much as the rest of the world does.


This semester I am taking a humanities course that continually condemns the use of technology. While I agree with the professor in some aspects (that technology has contributed to the breakdown of community), there other are ways in which we don’t see eye to eye. For example, this professor praises the Amish community almost daily. I admit their sense of community with one another surpasses anything that we have today, but who else are they in community with aside from one another? What are they really doing for the world and those who don’t have a clue who Jesus is? In my opinion, the woman who wears jeans and t-shirts, who owns a cell phone and computer, who may appear to belong to the world but has something “different” about her, will have a greater impact on the Kingdom than the woman who only tells her story to a community who has heard it before. Not only have they heard this woman’s story before, but chances are that they have all lived it themselves.


I think the last time that I wrote was on much the same topic so I apologize, but it is an issue that I have been wrestling with almost daily. How do I take the many good things that I have learned here, discovering my passions, finding myself, growing in my faith, and use them out in the real world? How do I live out in the world with my fellow sinners yet remain separate and keep my values intact? I don’t think that I will be able to answer this question until I am forced to live it.


If I am ready, maybe an opportunity will present itself this summer in the form of a journalism internship. I almost refuse to write for any specifically “Christian” publication. I do enough of that for The Collegian. What we need, and I have said this before, is not Christian magazines or newspapers, but Christians writing for the magazines and newspaper that the world reads.


I am excited to begin using the skills that I have acquired over the past 3 years and use them in the real world with my fellow sinners. My sins are just as great, if not greater than, the guy next door who has no concept or idea of who Jesus is, so why is it that we are often in the habit of coming across as “holier than thou”? Being transparent in the way that we live our lives, being unafraid to bear our sins and weaknesses to one another, is a powerful thing. I don’t know when the world started to assume that Christians are these perfect high beings, but I hate it. And I strongly dislike Christians who affirm that view. There has to be a way that we can break that mold and the world’s misconceptions, allowing the real Jesus to shine. Let’s be transparent.



Oh and P.S. I am putting up some new pictures from throughout the semester. I believe it is time for an update.