I have found that the only time I really write on here is when I am truly hating this place. Seriously...I could not wish for next year to come fast enough! I've decided to give this place one more try I think. At least one more semester when I am not confined to this messed up dorm room. I walk by other peoples rooms and they look like they actually have a good time. Not here...Our door is usually shut because one of us never stops studying. Our room is always pretty emotional because someone never stops thinking that everything is about her. One of us feels the need to pointedly put in ear plugs as an obvious sign that we are annoying her...Well here is my obvious sign.

I really can't wait to get out of here! I know I'll probably look back on this someday and think...I learned a lot that year. Yea, but learning something and enjoying yourself are two completely different things. I find it really unfair that many people get to enjoy themselves their freshmen year...College...It's so great, I would do it again! Thats what everyone says. Me...I would NEVER do this year again!

People ask me why I hate it here and one of the only things I can tell them is how much I hate my room. Hate is a strong word I know..But for this situation I don't even think it is strong enough. I feel like when I am here I have a mother who lives in the same room with me. O no its not just in the same house anymore...The same damn room! "What are you doing? What time does that start? When are you going to be back? I wouldn't do that if I was you. O I am just off to a very inspiring lecture." Just shut the hell up and leave me alone! I don't like you so don't talk to me...Hell, don't even look at me.

I feel so mean writing all of this up but it is all so true. I would like to see you try and live here. I think I would rather live with a stuck up blonde than in this room. Grove City College...They like to torture. Actually..Not true I must admit I totally brought this torture upon myself. Which is kind of ironic...I guess it just goes to show that you don't know who a person is until you live with them...

Getting Better...

So this place is getting better. I have found that the only time I am really miserable is when I am in my room. It is just an extremely annoying place to be let me tell you! Anyways, I think that next year might actually better and then I might be able to enjoy this place a little more. Right now I am just surrounded by some extreme people...There is nothing I can do to change that and I am learning a lot. When I look back, I don't think I would re-do this year for any amount of anything, but I think it will be a good learning experience. Coming to this school I guess I knew there would be some interesting...things.

So I have been trying to look beyond this stupid dorm and really enjoy everything else. I have found some pretty cool people. There are normal ones out there somewhere! Come next year I think my group of friends will change immensely, but that is just fine with me. Its actually way more than fine!

This week has been a really good week. Benjamin and I had an amazing talk and our relationship keeps getting stronger every day. It's crazy and it just blows my mind! I've been trying to keep up on my devotions and all that stuff as well. It's really hard here to get caught up in everything and just forget, but I have started making a real effort. My eyes were opened this week...For the first time I guess I realized that we in no way, shape, or form deserve God's blessings but He blesses us anyways! Can you believe it?! Even at my lowest of low, He blesses ME! Why?! How love can be that strong I just don't know, but it is amazing. So no matter how many chapters of the Bible I read, no matter how much I pray, or how many good deeds I do...That doesn't make me any better than anyone else! That is beautiful! I think a lot of people, especially here, compare themselves and their faith to other people...O well...

Anyways...Time to get out of this room! I need a shower...Good reason to leave I suppose. Peace out!

Life...

I offically hate this place. I went home this weekend and that was great...I love going home. Maybe I'll talk more about that when I am actually in a good mood. But then I come back here and its like a cloud descends upon me and I hate it. I have never once actually been happy to come back to this piece of crap of a school. So why am I even considering staying? The only reason I can really think of right now is that I like my computer...Haha. Pathetic I know...Not a good reason to stay.

I have so much work to do tonight and I am running on less than 3 hours of sleep...And I have been up since 7:30...Wonerful wonderful.

I don't know anymore. I don't know what it is about this place....I feel like I am surrounded by Christians who are trying to be perfect and one up each other all the time. Everyone does it! Even me...I know...Being a Christian is great. I don't know this sounds kinda wrong to say, but I am going to say it anyways cause it has been on my mind. Some people let their religion consume themselves and then I think they just become socially retarded. They don't know how to act normally in scoiety. There is nothing wrong with love Jesus and the whole sh'bang...But...I think when you do it to a point that you can't function normally in the world around you. That is a problem.

Part of being a Christian is reaching out to non-Christians...So honestly...Be normal. And people and their whole Calvinistic crap here! AH! Drives me insane! I need to get out of here...I am sick of being in this bubble surrounded by all the same people all of the time. For the most part if you go here you are either:
a. Type A Personality...Little Miss Perfect
b. Homeschooled and socially akward..
Granted there are acceptions...I do have some normal friends here. But not many...Anyways...I can't wait fow this semester to do over so I can leave and never look back!

Sorry if anyone was offended by this blog...Not like anyone actually gives a damn what I think anyways.