I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading -- treading -- till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through --
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum --
Kept beating -- beating -- till I thought
My Mind was going numb --
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space -- began to toll,
As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here --
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down --
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing -- then –
-Emily Dickinson
____________________
Stressed out.
These are two little words with big implications. Together they sum up how many people are feeling right about now. Well, at least the people that I am surrounded by.
The season of corn mazes and haunted houses has come to a close and the bitter cold is blowing in. I personally do not mind – I love the snow, I grew up in artic conditions – But for others, watching the sun slowly disappear brings only sadness and depression.
I have watched more people scarily sink into their own thoughts in the past two months than I ever thought I would see. And once again the reality of pain and suffering wins out. I know there is good out there. I am not that depressing; however, it is hard to see beauty when the people I love are in pain.
I almost feel bad for saying that right now, I am in a good place. Over the past few weeks I have felt love lost and love gained. I have been lucky enough (and brave enough) to begin opening up to the people I know love me most.
I am also fortunate in the sense that senioritis has yet to kick in. I love my classes this semester. I am, however, looking forward to eventually studying English at a secular University. Grove City is a great place for beginnings and it has helped me build a solid foundation, but they often taint and sugar coat some great authors. I am tired of hearing everything from a Christian perspective. I want to learn about Shakespeare, Emerson, Thoreau, and Hawthorne from a different lens.
I can’t wait.